Hey reader! Wanna hear something neat? If you live in or near Birmingham, AL, you can see today’s featured film on the big screen at the Sidewalk Cinema this weekend! I’ll be there myself, so if you want to see a really fun slasher flick on its most appropriate day, get a ticket and come join us. You could see it tonight at midnight, or if that’s too rich for your sleepy blood, you can catch it tomorrow at 7:30. Trust me: It’s a fun one to see with a crowd!
Happy April Fool’s Day, reader! What a strange occasion this is. Someone many years ago looked at the calendar and said “What if there was one day where everybody lied to each other?” And now here we are, still lying to each other. I love traditions.
April Fool’s Day also happens to have its own slasher flick. This may seem weird to you if you aren’t a big fan of slashers, or a horror movie person at large. I am here to tell you that it’s actually not that weird when you look at holiday horror films as a whole. There’s an entire compendium of them!*
Halloween is probably the first one to come to your mind, and rightfully so. No, it was not the first holiday horror film. Black Christmas, made by Birmingham native Bob Clark,** was a notable influence on John Carpenter, and Silent Night, Bloody Night (and Tales From The Crypt, which included a Christmas segment) came before that one. Even as far back as 1921, you’ll find The Phantom Carriage, a spooky ghost story that takes place on New Year’s Eve.
But after Halloween, production companies went into a mad scramble to fill their pipelines with calendar slashers. Reader, there were five such films released in 1980 alone, a mere two years after Halloween. There were two Christmas slashers in Christmas Evil and To All A Good Night.*** There were two New Year’s Eve slashers in Terror Train and New Year’s Evil, the former of which stars Halloween heroine Jamie Lee Curtis.**** And then there was Mother’s Day, an incredibly weird film that was released in September, which is a month that does not contain Mother’s Day.
The trend continued with My Bloody Valentine in 1981, Hospital Massacre (another one set on Valentine’s Day) in 1982, and even more year-end terror with Silent Night, Deadly Night in 1984 and Bloody New Year in 1987. And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Critters 2, which takes place at Easter. That was pretty much the end of the trend, though, with occasional entries like Uncle Sam, Leprechaun, Thankskilling, Father’s Day, and the recent date-specific horror anthology called Holidays (that is actually not great aside from the Easter and Father’s Day segments).
And then there’s April Fool’s Day. Which, as I’ve said in the headline, might actually be the most appropriate slasher holiday.
Think about it. Halloween is already pretty horrory, so your spooky senses are on high alert. Thanksgiving and Christmas are big family-driven occasions that often manifest drama, so you already know how frightening family can be!***** New Year’s Eve and St. Patrick’s Day are party days where anything could happen, but there can be safety in numbers. For Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Independence Day, you’re probably spending time outside during the sunshine hours, which seems safer. And Valentine’s Day is…well, that’s actually a pretty good one, because a lover scorned is a terrifying thing.
But then there’s April Fool’s Day, which is a holiday for liars. It’s right there in the title! It’s inarguably our most vicious American holiday, wherein the objective of your waking hours is to deceive your peers and make them feel like idiots. And if you’re a serial killer, or you aspire to become one, there’s no better opportunity. I mean, deceiving someone is the first step toward murdering them, right?******
I realize now, more than 500 words in, that I haven’t talked about April Fool’s Day at all, so allow me to do so briefly here at the end. It’s a bit rough around the edges, but it’s a lot of fun. Beyond the slashings and the youthful verve, it’s got a great dark sense of humor, and there’s a mystery element as well. I would highly recommend it for your weekend viewing.
You know I wouldn’t lie to you, right? 😉
*Credit is due to my friend Ryan Rawlings, a horror movie aficionado, for helping me compile this list of holiday-themed spookers. I had not even heard of some of these titles!
**I will continue to mention that the guy who made Black Christmas, A Christmas Story, and Porky’s (the weirdest cinematic trifecta of all time) grew up in my hometown until the mayor builds him a statue or something.
***To All A Good Night was released on January 30, 1980, even though the whole thing takes place at a Christmas party and the killer is dressed as Santa Claus. They didn’t really think that one through.
****Jamie Lee, scream queen that she is, also starred in a third calendar slasher if you count Prom Night. Which was, unsurprisingly, also released in 1980.
*****To my mother and sister and my cousin John, who sometimes read this newsletter: I don’t mean y’all, of course. (Please keep giving me food and presents.)
******My lawyer, David, has advised me to clarify that I am not encouraging or condoning murder. Also, David, if you’re reading this, you’re my lawyer now.
April Fool’s Day isn’t really available on any subscription-based streaming services, unless you count Spectrum On Demand. But it is available for rent through many content providers. Also, April Fool’s Day doesn’t fall on a Friday again until 2033, at which time this newsletter surely will no longer exist, so I had to take advantage of this opportunity while I could. I make the rules here, nerd.
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I almost forgot about AFD! I'm glad I didn't so A) I didn't get confused today and B) I could once again watch this fun movie! I'm home recuperating from a bit of surgery or I'd love to see it at Sidewalk too!