Cabin Boy (1994) Serves As a Reminder That Chris Elliott Could’ve Been a Star

Today, this newsletter celebrates a noteworthy occasion: It’s Chris Elliott’s 64th birthday!*

You probably didn’t know that. And if you did, that’s kinda weird. But I planned ahead for this event. If you haven’t met me in person, you might be asking “Why?” If you have, you probably know it’s because Chris Elliott has been the most common celebrity comparison that I’ve received throughout my adult life.

Ever since college—maybe even high school, who’s to say—I’ve had friends and strangers alike come up to me and say “You look just like that guy from Scary Movie 2” or “You look kinda like that dude from There’s Something About Mary” or even “You totally look like that man from Schitt’s Creek” in recent years. That’s the thing, though. Almost nobody says “You look like Chris Elliott.” He’s an infamous “that guy” known prominently for his face and only occasionally for his name.

It didn’t have to be this way, though. When he was just getting started, Chris got in on the ground floor of Late Night with David Letterman, working as a production assistant and quickly moving up to writing and appearing in many of the show’s sketches. He was even featured in a 1987 issue of Teen Beat under the headline “Late Night Hunk.”** The sky was the limit for him. And he touched the sky, if ever so briefly, with Cabin Boy.

Though he’d played supporting parts in films like Manhunter, The Abyss, and Groundhog Day, Chris had never really anchored a film.*** In some measure, all of those roles paved the way for Cabin Boy, his first shot at true cinematic stardom. Cabin Boy isn’t like those films, though. It’s not really like any film.

Which might explain why it flopped. Hard. Sure, a $3.7 million haul against a $10 million budget isn’t an all-timer of a loss ratio, but the cultural poison of Cabin Boy percolated far beyond the box office. The critical reception was atrocious.**** Chris was even nominated for a Razzie Award for Worst New Star.*****

Of course, it doesn’t deserve that reputation. Co-written with Chris’s Late Night buddy Adam Resnick, who also directed the film, and co-starring a bevy of veteran character actors—even Letterman himself makes a cameo—Cabin Boy is actually a delight. At just 80 minutes, it doesn’t overstay its welcome, and the fantasy elements help keep the comedic conceit afloat.****** And Chris himself is really good too, taking on a role that might’ve been more suited for a late-night sketch and bringing humanity and absurdity to it in equal measure.

Most viewers wouldn’t’ve have agreed with my take 30 years ago though. Which explains why Chris was condemned to a life of minor characters in movies and TV shows. Sure, there are plenty of worse ways to make a living, but I can’t help but wonder what alternate reality could’ve awaited such a gifted comedic actor had he not been saddled with a punching bag for a calling card. (I blame the viewers, not the movie, of course.)

But if you asked Chris, I bet he doesn’t look back in anger. He’s had a steady career for four decades. He even got to raise a family, including two daughters who happen to be gifted comedic actors themselves.

Here’s where I segue into the closing anecdote. Reader, I buried the lede: I actually met Chris Elliott once.

During my first trip to the Indie Memphis Film Festival, where a music video I produced was premiering, I happened to catch a screening of his daughter Bridey’s directorial feature debut, Clara’s Ghost, which stars all four Elliotts (including Chris’s wife Paula and daughter Abby). And all four of them happened to be in attendance.

I knew I had to meet my celebrity doppelganger. After the screening, I approached the Elliott family on my way to shake Chris’s hand—but before I could get to him, I caught Bridey’s attention. Her eyes grew wide. She looked at her dad, she looked back at me, and then she pointed at both of us. “I know,” I said before she could utter a word. “I’ve been told I look like your dad.” She nodded. “Yeah, you need to go and meet him.”

And so I did. I even took a photo with him, though the shadow on his face is not ideal. And do you know what he said when I told him about the many times my facial features have been compared to his? “I’ll take that as a compliment.” What a guy.

So a resounding “Happy Birthday!” goes out to the man who might actually be my biological father. I hope our paths cross again someday in a room with better lighting. And I hope you’ll watch Cabin Boy soon in his honor.

*Could I have waited for his 65th birthday? Sure. But then it wouldn’t have fallen on a newsletter day. And I must abide by my own self-imposed schedule.

**Thank you to my friend Whitney, who sent me this tweet last year and said “Your dad was a sex symbol!” or something like that.

***He was, however, the star of a sitcom called Get a Life that ran for two seasons in the early 90s. And yes, that nautical pun was very intended.

****The Ringer published an excellent oral history on the extent of Cabin Boy’s failure for the 25th anniversary in 2019. I think they’re right that Cabin Boy’s Nathanial is a precursor to Will Ferrell’s array of man-child characters.

*****Let this be a reminder that the Razzies aren’t funny or accurate or useful and you shouldn’t support them in any way. But since you’re probably wondering, he lost to Anna Nicole Smith for Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult.

******That nautical pun was also very intended.

Cabin Boy is now streaming on Hoopla, and it’s available to rent elsewhere.