Hey y’all. It’s me, Jeremy. I’m just in the intro italics this week, because I’m still in Tennessee shooting a film of my own. But my handsome and talented editor, John, volunteered to write this week’s newsletter, and I thought that was a great idea, and I like his piece very much. Hope you enjoy it!
I finally watched Ridley Scott’s original Alien film for the first time a few weeks ago. It’s a masterpiece of suspense and horror and, yet, the terrors felt comfortably familiar. After all, how scary is an alien on my TV screen compared to being stalked by the real thing as a child?
In the early 90s, Orlando became a paradise for Boomer and Gen X cinephiles. Two new theme parks promised to let guests “Ride the Movies.” When Michael Eisner heard word that Universal Studios was planning to open a Florida location, he raced to open Disney-MGM Studios ahead of time. (That park is now called Disney Hollywood Studios, though it is neither in Hollywood, CA, nor Hollywood, FL).
The parks offered similar promises. Guests could see real productions in development; Disney’s park included a working animation studio and Universal was home to Nickelodeon Studios.
But the real draw was the chance to live through scenes of your favorite movies. These two parks opened around the time that most American homes started to add a VCR and, together, they led to an explosion in obsessive fan culture.
Yes, there were massive blockbusters and fan bases before the VCR. But despite all the lunch boxes and action figures sold, there’s a different level of obsession that comes with the opportunity to pause, rewind, and rewatch your favorite scenes over and over and over.
So audiences were primed for the parks in Orlando. At Universal, you could actually experience the thrill of being hunted by the shark from Jaws (although the ride was almost always broken from day one). At Disney-MGM, you could take part in a raid on the Death Star.
And for new audiences, the parks offered immersive introductions to the biggest films of the era. I sat through Universal’s Terminator attraction long before I watched any of the movies. I’ve still never seen the 1976 King Kong that the Universal ride was based on, but the ride itself ruled.
But for my money, the jewel at the heart of both parks was The Great Movie Ride at Disney-MGM. It was one of the longest rides in any park and it took guests through an immersive tour of movie history. And your ride host is briefly kidnapped and (at one point dies, apparently?). It was an absolutely insane idea for a ride for kids. And it’s also a ride that was curiously frozen in the zeitgeist of the 1980s.
Alien is a stunning film that eventually launched several sequels (including James Cameron’s Aliens, which is just as incredible), comic books, and a forthcoming TV show. But would it have the same staying power if it hadn’t been immortalized in a theme park ride and introduced children to its visceral horror for several decades?
By the turn of the century, Alien and Raiders of the Lost Ark were the two most current movies in the ride. It starts with a scene from Footlight Parade, a movie I had to look up just now. It had scenes from James Cagney and John Wayne movies, from Tarzan and Wizard of Oz, Casablanca and Fantasia.
As an introduction to movie history, it was spectacular. As a ride that was relevant to children in the 21st century, it was...questionable.
At Universal Studios today, one of the few remaining rides targeting young children is E.T. And yeah, sure, that movie is iconic, but how many kids today actually watch it? One of their most recent additions is a ride based on...The Secret Life of Pets? How many kids will watch that in 2031?
How do we decide which rides get immortalized in theme parks and which rides just fade with time? Almost all of the opening day attractions at Universal Studios have closed. Jaws was bulldozed to make way for Harry Potter. King Kong’s original attraction was torn down and replaced with a ride based on the Brendan Fraser Mummy franchise. And now there’s a whole new Kong attraction based on the new Kong reboot. In Los Angeles, the Jurassic Park ride has been reborn as Jurassic World ride.
At one point there was an entire attraction based on the movie Twister. It sucked.
When massive media conglomerates invest millions of dollars in building out these new worlds, they’ve got a long-term interest in making sure those franchises stay alive. So I hope you like those Secret Life of Pets movies.
Just like franchises keep getting reboot, attractions are torn down and replaced. But something does get lost in all the rubble: the chance to discover old films and franchises.
They finally closed The Great Movie Ride in 2017. Now the replica of the iconic Grauman’s Chinese Theater is home to a property that Disney’s managed to keep relevant for nearly 100 years: Mickey Mouse.
It makes sense from a company perspective—the lines for the original ride were basically nonexistent. But there was something magical about that journey through film history that will be hard to replace.
Even the dread of watching Ellen Ripley struggle to survive on screen was tough to compare to the dread of knowing that just around the corner, somewhere between a Hollywood Western and Oz, that alien could be waiting for you.
Alien is now streaming on Fubo, DirecTV, AMC+, Freeform, and Sling, and it’s available to rent elsewhere.
It was a spectacular ride and I'm grateful I have personal memories of it. That one, and the Jaws ride!